There is an old saying, people don’t quit companies, they quit their managers. You think you can agree with this bold statement? What seems to be more important, logo of your organization, its mission or the way you feel when you start another working day? Think about it, are you really excited in a positive way when you think about the place you spend most of your life? The job itself may be very engaging, but it’s not the tools what makes a good atmosphere but the surrounding people.
I always try to remember the fact, that whole this IT thing, at the end of a day is made for humans, not the other way. It helps me a lot during my tasks, makes hard decisions quicker to be made. Good decisions mostly. But back to the people.
Is It About You?
As a manager, you must be aware the fact, that your current team will not be with you forever. People come, people go. You have probably been there a few times. The hard part in matter, is to keep them available for you as long as possible. The more experienced developer, the better, already knows all the quirks, bugs and where the bodies are hidden. Have you noticed the available for you term used in previous sentence? What I mean by this, is that people will work for you with all their might, only when they decide to do so. Sitting there by your desk, typing on the keyboard doesn’t mean person brings any value to the project. If someone feels treated badly, unfair or, what’s the worst, cheated or lied, what will be the result of this employee’s work? You have absolutely no power over this person’s free will, so what can be done to avoid such situations?
What you can do, is to make sure an atmosphere is as good as possible. When people feel safe and protected, they have more energy and motivation to give their best. And when they give their best to the project, the project gives its best to the stakeholders. And when stakeholders are happy, then everyone in the company is. So, what’s the recipe for common happiness, peace and love?
There is no one-size-fits-all recipe for making them stay long, it all depends on what constellation was formed within your crew. From my experience, I can think of three plus one thing, which are crucial when it comes to have a good and healthy relations with your coworkers.
Trust
Some people say, that “trust must be earned”. In their thinking, they know nothing about people they meet, so it’s better to keep a big distance at first. Eventual closing is a consequence of “them proving themselves” to the disbeliever with their honesty and good deeds. It is like a computer game, you collect points and achievements until you gain enough experience to level-up. Please, have you seen the game where you start with complete set of points?
Personally, I totally disagree with such way of making relations. I’m aware the painfulness of being victim of deception, being failed, fooled or cheated, but this is the risk one must take to build trust. Business folks always say that “no guts, no glory”, and I think this is true. If you can’t afford risk of being hurt, if you do not expose your belly, then don’t expect other people to do so. There must be some balance between what you, and the other person gives to your relation, but don’t be an accountant here. I mean, there are good times and bad times, so don’t jump to conclusion too fast. Give it some time, be optimistic and have a good faith.
When it comes to damaging a trust between people, especially in hierarchical organizations, there is a one, well-known pathology called micromanaging. Oh dear, how many great teams have disbanded just because someone could not believe they are dedicated and honest workers. Have you ever met a micromanager during your career? You know, that guy who can never delegate, because nobody can do his job better. Always on the communication lines, obsessively asking for updates, meetings and ordering you to be carbon copied to every email you send. And you send a lot of emails to get your ideas approved. Now, try to be completely honest with yourself - are you a micromanager? If answer is yes, and you care about the future of your company, you should definitely think about trust issues you might have. I will not encourage you to “work on yourself by yourself”, I’m not competent enough. The best you can do, is to search for some professional psychological help and try to change your bad habits.
Honesty
But not abruptness. If you don’t like your mate’s new haircut, do you think it will help him to feel better, when you tell him that? I bet he or she won’t. When not sure if what you’re about to say may hurt someone or not - better don’t say anything. The wise-man once said, silence is gold meaning that if you have nothing nice to say, it would be better not to tell anything. Let’s take this wisdom seriously.
Being honest has this undeniable advantage which is no need to worry about lies you said. They always go in groups, you start with “one little white one”, promising to yourself it was a last time, but you end up trying to explain why you couldn’t fly to the Mars last weekend. When you start this chain reaction, you may never be sure how it will eventually end and what consequences will be. How to keep your peace of mind?
First, don’t be almost honest. You are master of Information, your job is to defend its consistency and authenticity. Your mission is to seek the truth. When you stretch it, try to use it for your personal benefits, hide some facts, it all boils down to being dishonest. Be fair and impartial, at least try to.
Second aspect of honesty is to be straightforward. It really makes things simpler. You don’t leave any space for some unnecessary conclusions. Signal transmitted, message received. Nice and clean. It is always a good idea, to take your time before some difficult meeting or conversation, and think about what and how you are going to say to your interlocutor. Make scenarios in your head, try to imagine how would you react to the words you are about to say if you were the one being spoken to. If you can’t be 100% honest, then maybe you should call it off?
Respect
The first person you should pay your respect to, is you. People, who doesn’t treat themselves well, are rarely admired by the others. It leads to nothing but people being disrespectful to each other, fighting instead of cooperating, destroying over creating. Do you think it’s possible to run successful business in the situation where everybody shows lack of respect? Does it leave any space for creativity, satisfaction and sense of accomplishment? Being a good leader means to esteem everybody, not just a chosen few but every creature on this planet. And how to be a respecting and respected human being?
People love to talk, but what they love even more, is to be carefully listened. Not by someone who stares at his black mirror pretending to listen to what they have to say. Listening means to be all ears, focused and actively showing your interest in what other person have to say. Practice active listening by eye contact, asking questions and make quick summaries from time to time.
It’s quite possible, that after listening closely to somebody, you will realize that you have drastically different points of view or opinions about how the stuff should be done. It may bring some negative thoughts into your mind, some judging may also take place. Don’t go this way. Instead of being judgemental show empathy. Emphasize the fact you have different beliefs, but don’t forget to point out people’s right to have their own way of thinking. Try as hard as you can to look for some common ground, take the best of both worlds to build a perfect solution. Seek to understand others, because you may learn something great and valuable about them and their visions.
Another great way to be respectful and respected is helping but also receiving some help. Never forget to show your gratitude to person who spent his or her time giving you a hand. Always be there for those, who took care of you. Offer your support and encouragement to let them know you take care. If you have made any promises, do all it takes to keep them, it clearly proves your friendship and affection. And when you screw something up don’t cover it, just say you are sorry. It shows empathy, care and demonstrates your honesty.
Bonus
It doesn’t hurt to do something crazy for once in a while. And by the crazy, I don’t mean doing hard drugs or having after party at the police station. The secret is: be spontaneous as you can be. One of these lazy fridays, beautiful weather outside and nobody’s going to deliver any more value this week? I’m sure you know what I mean :) What is the best thing, a respected and admired leader should do, when notices such situation? Try to use some honest and respectful tactics to squeeze his team out, and get as much job done as possible? If your nickname is “the emperor” or similar, it is likely you put them into the blender, and run it with top speed. If not, what are remaining options?
On a days such as this, when only thing people do, is to wait for the weekend, you can just turn a blind eye on them and pretend everything is fine. But honestly, it’s not that bad either, human thing. Lunchtime is actually considered as a moment when job ends and life starts. After this significant event only buts are working, minds already called it a day. For many people this may be unacceptable, because employees are paid for doing nothing, and it makes company poorer. In fact, this is a great opportunity to win your workers’ hearts by a very low price. How a good leader makes use of this situation? He takes a risk and sends a short email to everybody, which says: “Guys, let’s call it a day today. Thank you all for the great job you did last week. Have a nice weekend :)”. Does it show respect, is it honest and true? I think this is. And the best is yet to come on monday!